How to Avoid Getting into Fights

We Japanese girls want to be the apple of your eye, and that means the only apple of your eye. Western girls of course do not want to be cheated on, same with us... but that goes without saying. Japanese girls however will get very upset over much, much smaller things. I'll give you two examples.

Western men will often notice and remark about especially beautiful women, even to their girlfriend. I noticed this especially with British men. They do it in a slightly comedic, tongue in cheek way, maybe saying 'hello' when they see a very beautiful or sexy women in the street. Of course that woman cannot hear... the only person that hears is their girlfriend. They'll generally get a playful slap on the arm or something in response, but overall the girlfriend is unlikely to be particularly upset by his words. Do not, however, make this mistake with a Japanese girl. If you have not been together for long, this is of potentially relationship ending seriousness. You may be joking, and maybe a western woman would get your joke, but a Japanese woman will not, rather, she is likely to be extremely angered by it, and you can expect her to remain angry for quite some time afterwards. Not understanding why she is angry or telling her she's over-reacting will only make it worse. Even if you don't really feel like you did anything wrong, the best thing you can do is apologize as sincerely as you can.

Another difference between western and Japanese culture that you have to be aware of is being alone with girls. Japan is not as extreme as the middle-east, where you are not allowed to be alone with a female, but you have to be very careful here. Being alone with a Japanese girl will always look like a date. You may just be friends with a girl, and she might feel the same way about you, but meeting her (just the two of you), for a coffee, or lunch, or even worse, drinks, will not go down at all well with your girlfriend. It may be inconvenient, or even undesirable, but always try to meet with a girl in a group, not one on one. Connected to this, if you are not in a relationship (or even if you are), you may only be interested in a Japanese girl as a friend, but if you ask her for a coffee or something (or indeed arrange any kind of meeting between the two of you), she will always consider it to be a romantic advance.

Indeed, it is difficult to intentionally strengthen your friendship with a Japanese girl, as you have to be so careful to avoid giving her the wrong idea. These issues exist in western culture, but are much more emphasized here in Japan. Be careful!